Normally, I would stay away from this type of subject. But, a post on Psychology Today struck a cord with me this morning. Perhaps it was the recent conversations I have had with friends, one regarding a 2.5 year who is going through radiation treatments. She had a brain tumor removed surgically and the radiation is to ensure all the cancer cells are gone. Or, the other conversation I had with another very dear friend of mine regarding a 9 year old who was diagnosed with CF. I simply can not imagine how I would react if anything like this were to come to my little, precious, baby boy. I can’t possibly understand the daily trials and the strength that these parents have within them to simply be able to function (and not under sedation!) I do believe I would be a basket case.
This particular post on Psychology Today is in regards to the Santorum’s and Gabriel, their son who was born and died within 2 hours in 1996. Mrs. Santorum had a procedure done while pregnant (to correct a birth defect that Gabriel had), which led to complications, which led to premature birth. The Santorum’s (God Bless them) chose to take Gabriel home with them. To spend time with his body to grieve and to allow Gabriel’s siblings to spend time with him also.
Many people have expressed thoughts that they are nuts and crazy to have handled Gabriel’s death this way.
I, think differently. I recall when I had to have my cocker spaniel, Cinnamon, euthanized. She was 16 and her body riddled with cancer (but that’s a different story all together). I spent my time with her pre-euthanization and post-euthanization. I certainly cried my eyes out. And, in the end, I do believe it was the best thing I could have done. It gave me a sense of peace. A sense of “I was her caregiver, and how could I treat her any less respectfully or any less lovingly?” So, as a parent, I think that is a parallel statement. I think you would be crazy to not want to be loving, respectful, and to be completely in control of the way your child’s body and death is handled.
Inspiration and other sources:
Excellent Photography resource: Photographers who capture the memories you make with your deceased little one: Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep
What do you think about the choices the Santorum’s made? What would you do in their shoes? would you want to spend time with your loved one, do you think it would help?
